Cynthia Tenhouse: “Being a working mother helped me realize how important it is to nurture young women.”

What is one defining moment in your career or life that empowered you to create change, and how has it shaped the path you’re on today?

20 years ago, if someone had asked me about the defining moment of my life, it would have most certainly been about my career. Most of my life had revolved around my work and professional aspirations, maybe even to a detriment. I was a chronic workaholic and perfectionist (a charming combination, I am sure), and I almost always would prioritize staying late to finish up or get ahead of work, rather than investing time in my personal life or building relationships with friends and colleagues.

All of this changed when I realized the actual defining moment of my life, the birth of my daughter, Ella, whom I had at the age of 38. As one might suspect, this was probably the most challenging experience of my life, but also the greatest thing I have ever accomplished. Accomplish is not even the right word; rather, the birth of my daughter was the greatest gift I have ever received. She is what I am most grateful for and most proud of, and becoming a mother has completely redefined my perspective and priorities in life. Looking back, I don’t know if I would have liked to work for the pre-motherhood Cynthia, given how much I expected of myself and others around me.

When I had my daughter, I was in a high-travel job in the field, working with dealer associations across countries. As the only female manager with a child, I didn’t have anyone to help me figure out how to navigate life as a new mom on the road, so I learned many valuable lessons the hard way (like how to get through TSA quickly with breast milk). My daughter is now 14, and watching her grow and also learning how to be a mother while continuing to juggle my responsibilities at work has been both a rewarding and hum-bling experience. Despite some initial, and possibly lingering, resistance to accepting my limitations and letting go of perfectionist tendencies, I have learned what it means to reprioritize in both my personal and professional life. Of course, I am still a work-in-progress and will sometimes fall into my “2 a.m. ruminations.” However, now when I have these moments of self-criticism, I try to re-mind myself of what I would say to my daughter and show myself that same kindness. Being a working mother has also helped me realize how important it is to nurture young women and be there to support them as they go through life transitions. I believe that be-coming a new mom is one of the hardest transitions and one where we lose many talented women, especially in demanding positions that require significant travel. Whatever the case may be, the most important part of this is that we aren’t meant to go through these struggles alone. It is my hope that together, we can continue to foster and empower women so that there will always be a tribe that will be there to help guide us, support us, and be there to lift us back up when we fall.